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Saturday, July 14, 2012

First Haiku

Your first breath in world
My spring has arrived, with you
Till eternity.

(Dedicated to the feeling of motherhood.)
Posted on Haiku Heights: Prompt- First
http://haiku-heights.blogspot.in/2012/07/153-first.html


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12 comments:

  1. Tarun MazumdarJuly 14, 2012 at 12:25 PM

    a feeling only a mother feels... great work jaskiran...

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  2. Vaishali JainJuly 14, 2012 at 12:42 PM

    Nice write, Jaskiran. I liked how you showed the feelings of a mother for her baby.

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  3. PranitaJuly 14, 2012 at 12:53 PM

    Exactly! Reading it immediately pictured a mother in my mind! :) Very well done Jaskiran :)
    First peek of loving future

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  4. Bruce MillerJuly 14, 2012 at 12:57 PM

    Delicate and moving haiku!

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  5. joanneJuly 14, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    'mom' stuff usually turns me off, but this...this...your words made me tear up! lovely

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  6. GraceJuly 14, 2012 at 5:34 PM

    Lovely thoughts ~ If you don't mind, my suggestion is avoid generic words like eternity, rather give a specific image like this:

    your first breath
    soft as white daisies,
    spring is here

    Hope you don't mind ~

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  7. Amrit SinhaJuly 15, 2012 at 7:47 AM

    Lovely feeling ... heartwarming !!!

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  8. UnknownJuly 15, 2012 at 9:25 PM

    Thanks for writing this one. To put it simply, I love it.

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  9. ekta khetanJuly 17, 2012 at 2:35 AM

    Nice one...

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  10. Jaideep RaoJuly 18, 2012 at 3:23 AM

    cant get better than this, so beautiful,.

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  11. Vaishali JainJuly 24, 2012 at 10:55 AM

    Hi Jaskiran,

    Just added you as the recipient of Liebster Award.

    Here's the link:

    http://twitamic.blogspot.in/2012/07/my-first-blog-award.html

    Enjoy! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. UnknownJuly 25, 2012 at 12:46 AM

    Very sweet :)

    ReplyDelete

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